Travel and Travails

Good day, with one meeting. Interesting morning after last night's "conversation" about the weekend and the kids. Late night last night because of racing mind following the mean words said and an early morning this morning to get kids to school and then get ready for meeting.

(Started this last night after we got to Baltimore, and fell asleep writing it. These late nights and early mornings have been killing me, even if they are well worth it.)

Tonight, we are in Baltimore, and are spending the weekend with Deepti and Uma, and seeing Uwe while we are here. He was able to greet us last night when we got to Deepti's house, and it was good to chat with and see the Reverend Doctor. Tonight's picture is one of Mary Kathryn's, taken while we were driving up I-95 just south of Washington. Said a lot about my day...

Don't know why this weekend feels bittersweet. Was in Tampa a year ago, and had a great time with my friends there, but remember the highlight being a call I received on Saturday while I was driving into Ybor City. Seems odd to have the things hit you by time, instead of by place. They just come at you out of nowhere.

The drive is almost always challenging, given the competing interests of the kids -- movies, music, topics for conversation, adjusting to sharing my drive time silence with them, intermittent bathroom breaks and the occasional dust-up over a random topic (tonight, it was the disappointment of one in the other's inability to see beyond the intense dislike of Justin Beiber). But there are also moments of utter enjoyment.

Mary Kathryn's direct statement that what she wanted was to sit, talk, listen to music and spend time with me rather than put on her headphones so I could listen to my book. It takes that kind of directness (which I really like) from her to put me right. It helped me re-center myself on where I was at that moment was better than where I had been due to the day's calls, emails, BS from client or partner, and I needed to mentally start the weekend. The time itself had not yet influenced sufficiently my brain, much like the way the Crown had not yet positively transformed the ginger into its tasty treat.

Drew repeatedly leaned forward to talk, bringing forward something to Mary Kathryn and I. To hear his lyrical voice, engaged in nearly every topic raised, is always like music to my ears, and I could tell it was for her too.

But the most touching moment came when we stopped for a bathroom break between Richmond and Washington. Mary Kathryn came out as Drew and I were scavenging in the canyons of food and snack options. She walked up to me, and clearly had been affected in some way, causing me to start a little panic before she could say anything. Then she shared that a woman was crying in the bathroom, and that she checked on her to see if she needed anything.

The powerlessness in her voice was drowning out the “good” that she knew had come from her asking. She shared stories of people who had committed suicide because they felt no one else cared in the world, and I could see that she would never, ever let a person she knew or even didn’t feel that they were unloved or that no one cared by her inaction. The quiet pride I felt as I held her in my arms, between the rows of nuts and chips, as she cried her tears, and I felt her shouldering the uncertainty of whether she’d said enough to help the woman overcome her moment of sadness, or fear, or anger, or doubt about her own life. It will remain a poignant memory – absolute pride in her, as she gave her energy, and love, and tried to carry the hopes and fears of another to lighten their load and prayed she didn’t fail. It is a feeling, and a fear, that I can completely understand. It carried with it my own feeling of sadness as I see her mature into the woman that she has always been.