Leaving St. Louis

We had a fun day -- many complex thoughts and memories of the day.

First, Drew's complete disengagement with the football game. The realization that I have completely not prepared my son to talk about sports because there was so little about the game he truly understood, or, once he did understand some of it, that he cared nothing about it. He literally sat through most of the game drawing in his notebook, and occasionally looking up to ask a question about something going on... and then returning to the collection of thoughts on paper.

Of course, I don't want to leave the impression that the boy is a complete social freak: later, he and CJ were running around the pool at the Four Seasons, shooting cap guns at each other... never mind, that's not convincing counter-evidence. Sorry.

This particular sight was particularly funny for me. I think the first time I saw this particular fan project, I thought it was memorable and funny... maybe even original. 20 years later, it's just sad. The impression I was left with is that the other fans let the newbie show up with the big D and the picket fence and think: one day, he'll be cool enough for those seats... but not today. After he asks us where the pool is in the stadium, and he suffers through the other hazing rituals, we'll bring him into a room and threaten to beat the shit out of him if he brings that to another game. Besides, given the way we played today, the Rams' defense was more likely to catch our passes than our offense was...

To get to and from the stadium, we came from the Four Seasons to an underground tunnel that led to the entrance into Edwards Jones Dome (I'll save the rant about corporate sponsorship for sports facilities for a day that I don't fly home at 6:30 am CDT). To get to said tunnel, we had to walk through the adjacent hotel's casino. Yes, casino. One of Drew's lifelong fantasies.

The boy is convinced that he can play both poker and blackjack, and to be so close to a casino and not walk in seems to be another example of an adult world oppressing his freedom by imposing their moral code on him. He and I had a fascinating conversation about why there are age limits on the entry to casinos and how he thought that was an indefensible position. Another scary aspect of being his father is the logic and certainty of position on many issues -- and how frustrating it can be to get him to see other views than his own. It's not understanding racism or bigotry against people for who they love, how they think or where they come from, and refusing to accept that "that's the way it is" as a reason for anything. It's all pretty damn cool.

He did finally get me into the hot tub, which is on the main porch overlooking the Arch and where the outside bar is located. My own embarrassment about the public nature of being in the pool be damned... he wanted in the water.... and he was right. The hot water felt great, and while he failed to get me into the other pool (that looked too cold for me), he thoroughly enjoyed himself. The times that he is clearly a boy makes the occasions when he is so grown up a little more complex to manage because I see him in such different ways, and he approaches each with such conviction and diversity.

The ghosts came to me in my dreams, and they had good words, truthful words and I carry on. We say goodbye to St. Louis.