Wednesday: The View

The view on life is precious. This photo was taken actually last night, but its discovery caused me to realize that it was something that inspired me to write, and channel my memories into something.

Today, and frankly for the last two weeks, I have been extraordinarily sad. Not for any particular reason, and probably due in part to the time of year, the extraordinary heat and the difficulty I have in setting my mind in firm with where I want to be.

I sat tonight with one of my closest friends, and heard her describe sitting in the hospital with her father last summer as he was trying to survive 70+ days in the hospital from diabetic and heart related complications. As she described being in his room for hours, as the nurses would check on him hourly, and how the love she had for her father was evident in the relationship she doted on each one, learning something different about his status with each visit, it made me think of the one person who was with me throughout my 96 hours at Duke.

How she shared that little bed with me, and the absolute grace and love that she brought to every moment in that hospital room. I think about how disappointed she was in me, and I was in myself, and how she still loved me through it all. And to think that she might not love me now makes me sick to my stomach, mad at myself, and doubt so much about what I believe in my heart. And then I realize that that perspective is all my own. I am ignoring the very nature of love that caused her to be there, to take me to the emergency room, and to be there, to defend me and to reflect her love into me as I recovered. I am strengthened by that love, love that I believe to still be there in its original form, and now have been able to earn that love by my very change in my soul.

That view is more important than anything else.