Friday; Hogwarts and Hogsmeade

Here is the beginning of a three part-post on the adventure that the kids and I had at Universal over the past weekend. Please accept my humble apologies for the delays in posting...

After the delay of speaking and getting the kids moving from their hotel hideaway, we finally got on our way to our planned adventure. On our way, we changed our plans and decided to stay "on property," meaning that we decided to spend our hotel dollars at a hotel actually located at Universal. It was a decision we made to save time and money, especially for travel, and so that we could move to the front of the lines at various lines, which our natural impatience demanded!

After getting the bags to the room and being somewhat settled, we struck out to see what had lead us all to this place: Harry Potter. We rushed into the park, figured out how to get to the relevant part of Islands of Adventure, and nervously walked the final steps toward the arch into Hogsmeade. We were not at all disappointed.

The cobblestone streets, the buildings with their erratic chimneys and swaying lines, the snow laying along the eaves... it was as if someone had taken the images created while reading the books many years ago and actually transformed them into something real, three-dimensional and that could be experienced. Mary Kathryn and I just stood there transfixed for a long time, almost in disbelief. The medieval English village, with Hogwarts looming overhead, was... real.

We rode some rides, and experienced the phenomenon of virtual rollercoasters (using moving seats and visual aids to give you the sensation of flying while actually leaving you more stable than you could imagine). We walked into some of the shops and just enjoyed the moment.

After the park closed, we spent time with Durham friends whose trip to Universal unexpectedly but fortuitously coincided with our own, and shopped and ate. We shared dinner at Emeril's restaurant (a place where MK was dying to go when she was only five because she loved Emeril at the time, but was disappointed that he was not there to serve her dinner... BAM!) and loved the prix fixe menu -- even the girls shared one, expanding their adventure a little further. Drew loved his steak and the chance to just be the boy that he is, and we all laughed, and giggled and appreciated the day for what it was... amazing.

Alleghany County

This morning, I awoke early again to head off to another meeting. This morning, it was the first time I had been in Sparta, North Carolina since I was a sophomore in high school.

Back in the day, the Avery County High School tennis team dominated the conference. Our only real competitors were the thugs from Alleghany County High School. Their coach was a complete ass, and never hesitated to do whatever he could do to throw us off our game.

One time he resorted the seeds so that he might have a better chance of winning the team competition. Another he tried to distract us with loud music. The worst was when he literally had his chumps start some physical altercation with us. Needless to say, he didn't like us and... well, you get one guess what I thought of him.

So to be back there was a funny realization for me. Some things never change.

I was blessed to start my day going up US 21 and heading up the mountain in a way I had never been before. It was pretty amazing to see how much color there still was among the leaves, even going into the higher elevations.

I had enough time to stop and look back into the valley where the sun, the fog, the haze and the distant hills (including Pilot Mountain) and to enjoy the morning crisp air. and it made me smile.

My rides lately have been enriched by the chapters of the second book in the Steig Larsson series. I am nearing the end and hope I'm not too disappointed when it ends. Means that I will have to get the final book soon so I can start planning the next books...

I have a long philosophical perspective to share, due to my conversation with Melanie last night. I will get around to it soon. But in the meantime... the kids and I will enjoy Orlando.

Blurry

I love the occasional photo I take in a completely random fashion and get something as cool as this one. I took it while driving down I-40, of the leaves near Chapel Hill, and as a random snap.

The unexpected can be wonderful...

...and the moon tonight. I've been lucky enough to get her three nights this cycle.

Stairwell

This morning, in Hickory, I helped one of my agents with a meeting with one of their clients. (Wow -- lots of prepositions in that sentence. I really need to start doing a better job editing...) After the meeting, we walked down the stairwell, and a memory hit me so very hard... I wished I had my camera with me and I wasn't going to go get it and come back in, but it was so very strong that I think I gasped.

My co-worker had been talking to me about walking stairs and noticed I'd stopped. Then, I started walking down, and reflected about why it was that place has struck me so... a little over a year ago, I truly felt I was flailing around professionally (and personally, but I'm focused on professionally here) and didn't know where I fit. Chris had asked me to go to the meeting and had "sold" me pretty heavy to our partners there... Frankly, they were skeptical and had some fear, and has expressed their own doubt that I could perform in a sales role. They weren't the only ones... I really had begun to fear for my job, and couldn't deal emotionally with one more thing in that terrible year.

I walked out of that meeting the person I am today. I had found a footing, a skill I never confidently felt I could carry forward. I changed perceptions and accomplished the goal of getting the interest of this prospect and moved toward closing the sale. And I had done it largely on my own. And coming out of the meeting a year ago, and walking down those stairs with these friends who now had a completely different appreciation for what I could do to help... it changed that aspect of my life.

And I remembered the pride, and the relief, that I had done what I was capable of doing, and proving myself to people I admire and looked up to in that way.

Sliver of a Moon

Tonight, driving home from Greensboro's health care reform presentation, I was annoyed by an erratic driver (yes, that is completely ironic) but this tiny little sliver of a moon kept my attention and helped me feel a little balanced and calm.

Waking up with a cut finger

I do not remember how I cut my finger... Last night, I took on the responsibility of carving the pork after it came off grill to help, and I swear I do not remember the slice of my own flesh in the process. But this morning I can certainly feel it.

This morning's transition from daylight savings time to standard time was more difficult than usual. I slept horribly, and was so restless throughout the night. It was miserable, and the pain medicine refused to kick in and bring some peace to my knee.

This morning's conversation in Sunday School was actually pretty interesting, mainly about Paul discussing the need for Christians to submit to government authorities and how subtle and complex his message could be viewed. I struggle with the conspiracy theorists that believe Muslims are taking over the world. Today's example was how certain courts have applied Sharia law to overturn the conviction of a man who had raped his wife and how horrible it was that it occurred. When I pointed out that most courts in America did the same thing through the 1970's, there was complete silence. Those pesky details...

Loved something said to me today about recipes: "recipes ... can have a lot of meaning... giving up a secret - sharing it, entrusting it; recipes represent time and place and... this could be an interesting conversation. It is a major gesture for me to share this recipe with her." An insight to the very act of sharing that had escaped me, so thanks...

A good nap, and a little work done tonight. But I need to get some Neosporin™ on it...

Saturday with so much to do

Today, I was very and happily busy.

I started my day in Durham at Watts Street with the youth group working the Second Hand Treasures event. The day started very early, at least for a Saturday, and was actually a lot of fun. There was tons of "treasures" there, and a ton of people too... And I just liked being there.

My funniest moment was telling some folks there about how much I was enjoying the "The Girl Who Played with Fire" audiobook. Perhaps my description was too... emotional since a few of the youth started laughing at me... which only made sense. Sometimes I can be a complete loser when I get excited about a topic, or something about which I'm passionate.

Afterwards I went to a Common Cause post-election forum to hear the opinions of "those in the know" about why we Democrats did so poorly during the 2010 mid-term elections. What I failed to hear was us taking any accountability for the political realities of cycles, and overreaching. I also failed to hear why we ought to be thinking about to work better with the middle. It's a little funny how much I have been beat up by my friends over the last few weeks and how much I never hesitate to to defend where we are. I often think that I am uncertain whether we ought to be more progressive or more moderate.

The president said something a couple weeks ago that a big part of the political realities of America today is Congressional districts are political art to make the most conservative and the most liberal districts, and nothing for moderates. We need a more accepting environment for people's differences, stop believing in fear and start again with the material hope that there is something more important for us all to invest together, work together and make a difference for everyone. Sorry -- rant over.

Ended the day in Greensboro at Heather and Pat's house for dinner with a bunch of friends. We were there ostensibly to celebrate Chris's birthday, but more than anything to just enjoy each other's company. It was a wonderful November dinner of pork and root vegetables, great sweet potato casserole and a hummingbird cake to end the night. I was lucky enough to get home with some leftovers (yes, I know how you feel about them, but I didn't want to make lunch today).

Of course, given the company, a good deal of wine and Crown Royal was drunk, but I rode with someone so I was safe. Our designated driver was looking for a new way to Wendover, so I took David and Cathy down US 29/220 and Lee Street to get back to I-40. I am convinced it's the best way to get onto Wendover from the interstate... but the slightly intoxicated state of mind, riding down Lee Street, caused me to be lost in the memory of that March morning, and how it was the last day...

Cold Morning...

This morning was the first cold morning of the year. In fact, it was the first of the coming season where I regretted not wearing socks. And almost immediately thereafter realized that I wished I had remembered to pack my cufflinks. For the record, a shirt that requires cufflinks really cannot be worn normally. It caused me to roll up the sleeves and feel a little silly.

So I started my day, feeling silly and tired, and drove, and drove, and drove until I was able to sit in my own chair, and prepare to sleep in my own bed again.

Today/tonight, I want to share the words of others because they do such a find job capturing where the moment.

First a poem, from my poem-sharing friend...

Enough

by Jeffrey Harrison

It's a gift, this cloudless November morning

warm enough for you to walk without a jacket

along your favorite path. The rhythmic shushing

of your feet through fallen leaves should be

enough to quiet the mind, so it surprises you

when you catch yourself telling off your boss

for a decade of accumulated injustices,

all the things you've never said circling inside you.

It's the rising wind that pulls you out of it,

and you look up to see a cloud of leaves

swirling in sunlight, flickering against the blue

and rising above the treetops, as if the whole day

were sighing, Let it go, let it go,

for this moment at least, let it all go.

The second comes from my friend Addison's brief memoir of her recent trip to Italy...

In “Eat, Pray, Love,” an Italian friend of Gilbert’s observes that Italians are much better at “il bel far niente” — “the beauty of doing nothing” — than their American counterparts. I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot since I’ve been home. Italians may be very adept at doing nothing, but they are never careless. Every bite is thoughtful, every greeting heartfelt and every gift from nature cherished. And that’s the relationship I’ve been thinking about since I’ve been home — the one between caring and carefree. And that’s a relationship I want to get right.

I loved the idea of the beauty of doing nothing... such a wonderful concept. An even better goal for the weekend...

Christmas comes too early

The decorations are out... it comes too early. It's the first week of November (I know -- at least it's not October). Good day...

Time of Day

I have noticed that my disposition changes so much throughout the day. I wake a little tired or worried or lonely or bruised from a night of elbows and knees. After I get out of bed (the speed of which is usually a function of how tired I am, or how cold it is, or how much time I have to get something done on the list before I have to be at the first appointment, or the kids to school -- you get the picture, right?), I try and run through the usual steps, but it is largely routine.

Once out the door, it's contemplating which calls I can make, how the day looks, how many miles there will be before I get home again, and how many little crises I can resolve while driving. Usually sometime in the morning, my ADD medicine has kicked in and I feel fairly invincible. It makes getting things done and the ability to tackle tough issues MUCH easier for some reason.

Midday I am usually now at full speed. Lots happening - calls, emails, meetings, etc. The occasional distraction or personal thought running across the stage of my mind. I have tried to always fit into this cycle a few minutes of me time, through a chapter or two of a book or audiobook, or a picture caught here or there. Something to bring me back to center.

I almost always skip lunch, at least at lunchtime. It's a quiet time, when I can respond to emails or get things out the door without interruption. But by the end of the early afternoon appointments, the malaise begins to set in... I feel the meds draining out of me and I become more emotionally fragile. Unfortunately I am often driving when that happens, which is not always best.

By the time I get home -- after dinner, with the kids, or whatever -- I am exhausted. I want to just sit and veg, but that's not always easily done either. So too often, when I come here, I am melancholy, or sad, or just uncertain about too much. I often wish, in the mid-morning when I feel my strongest, I could write this then so I could capture that time of day when I am invincible, when I am my strongest me.

So... know that there are times each day where I am there. I'm not always down...

Election Day

...hmm... a lot different than two years ago. I am not in Pennsylvania. I am not on ichat celebrating a big night. Instead, the shadow has returned over the House and some "balance" will return to the legislative process. Most importantly, people voted.

Day was up, down, up, down, down, then up... thankfully have the children with me tonight to make me feel whole in some small way.

I am surrounded by people with opinions about what I should do, think, say, and feel about it. I appreciate everyone's perspective, but I have to do what I have to do... thanks for your understanding and support.

Yes, I voted for Elaine Marshall, and a whole bunch of other Democrats. All my friends this morning were laughing about their big night to come. It will be an interesting night by the end of it. Will Nikki Haley be elected governor of SC? Sestak ensure that PA has two elected Democratic senators for the first time in over 40 years? Will the president's Senate seat remain in the hands of the Dems or lost to a Republican? And if John Boehner fixes the House, then he will have been a profile in courage. For today, I ain't putting my money on it.

Gonna go crawl in bed beside Drew and get kicked all night. That's what love truly is.

All Saints' Day

Early morning, first real chill in my body, still Daylight Savings Time but those socks are looking good, and memories of a friend who passed away too young.

We got home from St. Louis fine (thanks for checking!) and resolved a number of work items before getting in the condo. Seems that work always needs to get done.

When I dropped Drew off, I saw the remains of a pumpkin on the front steps of their mom's house, and it just seem apropos for this time of year. The feeling of death is in the air -- the leaves, the grass, the air's chill taking out so much of the fun that the suggestion of warmth gives our bodies and minds. And I think about the passing of Uncle Doug, the echoes of Charlie's death, and how I heard the dread of dealing with another death in my daughter's voice yesterday when she called to talk to me about it, or the exhaustion she exhaled when we spoke and hugged this afternoon.

The writer of Ecclesiastes said that worrying about our lives is "vanities of vanity." Today, in reflection of the challenge to see which of us would be the first to capture a photograph of a lightening bug, I realize that when I do finally take that picture, it will be way that a life will live on...

Leaving St. Louis

We had a fun day -- many complex thoughts and memories of the day.

First, Drew's complete disengagement with the football game. The realization that I have completely not prepared my son to talk about sports because there was so little about the game he truly understood, or, once he did understand some of it, that he cared nothing about it. He literally sat through most of the game drawing in his notebook, and occasionally looking up to ask a question about something going on... and then returning to the collection of thoughts on paper.

Of course, I don't want to leave the impression that the boy is a complete social freak: later, he and CJ were running around the pool at the Four Seasons, shooting cap guns at each other... never mind, that's not convincing counter-evidence. Sorry.

This particular sight was particularly funny for me. I think the first time I saw this particular fan project, I thought it was memorable and funny... maybe even original. 20 years later, it's just sad. The impression I was left with is that the other fans let the newbie show up with the big D and the picket fence and think: one day, he'll be cool enough for those seats... but not today. After he asks us where the pool is in the stadium, and he suffers through the other hazing rituals, we'll bring him into a room and threaten to beat the shit out of him if he brings that to another game. Besides, given the way we played today, the Rams' defense was more likely to catch our passes than our offense was...

To get to and from the stadium, we came from the Four Seasons to an underground tunnel that led to the entrance into Edwards Jones Dome (I'll save the rant about corporate sponsorship for sports facilities for a day that I don't fly home at 6:30 am CDT). To get to said tunnel, we had to walk through the adjacent hotel's casino. Yes, casino. One of Drew's lifelong fantasies.

The boy is convinced that he can play both poker and blackjack, and to be so close to a casino and not walk in seems to be another example of an adult world oppressing his freedom by imposing their moral code on him. He and I had a fascinating conversation about why there are age limits on the entry to casinos and how he thought that was an indefensible position. Another scary aspect of being his father is the logic and certainty of position on many issues -- and how frustrating it can be to get him to see other views than his own. It's not understanding racism or bigotry against people for who they love, how they think or where they come from, and refusing to accept that "that's the way it is" as a reason for anything. It's all pretty damn cool.

He did finally get me into the hot tub, which is on the main porch overlooking the Arch and where the outside bar is located. My own embarrassment about the public nature of being in the pool be damned... he wanted in the water.... and he was right. The hot water felt great, and while he failed to get me into the other pool (that looked too cold for me), he thoroughly enjoyed himself. The times that he is clearly a boy makes the occasions when he is so grown up a little more complex to manage because I see him in such different ways, and he approaches each with such conviction and diversity.

The ghosts came to me in my dreams, and they had good words, truthful words and I carry on. We say goodbye to St. Louis.

Hate a bad night of sleep...

Went to bed around 10 pm and woke up about 1:30 am... tried to read, to catch up, to do lots of things to fall back asleep. Nothing worked... Finally nodded back off at 4:30 or so. Then dreamt I was in a car accident, of my own making. Then about 5 am, fell back asleep and woke up from having placed a call and someone else answering the phone and telling me something hurtful. So now I'm up for good, at 7 am local time.

I give up. Hopefully I won't sleep during the game today.

Sometimes a Thousand Words aren't necessary...

Here are four pictures I took today in St. Louis. Obviously I found a great deal to like about the Gateway Arch (as I learned it is actually called today), in particular the architectural design, its construction and how remarkable it seems that a public works project like this could ever have been funded, built and there was little political consequence suffered as a result. But it is really one of those things that, in my opinion, have always made our country great.

You look at the places like San Francisco and New York with their monumental bridges, the Hoover Dam, or any other number of places where similar things have been done. And it makes me proud that we once had the courage to build something like this, so important and defining.

The first picture is from our room at the Four Seasons, as the sun was rising over Illinois this morning.

The second picture is from underneath the north "leg" of the arch. Something remarkable in context.

The third was taken as we were leaving the park, and one of the most beautiful pictures I think I've taken of a place.

Finally, the last picture was taken as we were riding over the Missouri River, and the sun was setting over the west along the path that Lewis and Clark took as they were setting off to find the northwest passage.

Two great quotes. One was from Phenomenon, where John Travolta was talking to the woman he loved, with the knowledge that he was about to die. He asked her, "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" Her response: "No, I'll love you for the rest of mine." Always a quote that epitomized love.

Finally, a nice note about the ghosts of Halloweens past from a good friend. Made memories rise to the forefront of my mind, and just moved them through in the only way I can.

Guess the thousand words were a part of what I needed to say, even if they weren't necessary.

St. Louis

A very long day -- cars, buses and airplanes -- to get us safely to St. Louis, and to walk into the room to find a wonderful creation for Drew and the Arch... wow.

Probably a lot more to share, but we are both too tired. Lots of adventures tomorrow but for now: sleep.

BTW, Drew and I agree: planes with bad seals make for a miserably long flight, and achy ears afterwards...

Oh, and I agree with Haynes -- The Four Seasons rocks.

Peace, my friends.

Pretty...

An interesting conversation has been going on between me and my friend, Gene. He's looked through my portfolio and told em the pics he thinks are "art" and which ones are just nice (which is his way of not saying a lot...).

Some people walk into a booth at an arts fair and look at the photographs taken and remark how nice they are, how "pretty" they are, or how a scene reminds them of something, some time or someone. (Brief break for the grammar/spelling/punctuation police: some time is two words, right?) I feel a snob to walk into those booths and feel uninspired or that some (but hardly all) of my stuff is better. Is that ego or simply objective thought? WTF knows?

Anyway.... Tonight, he and I were discussing one of my photos which he thought was "one of my best." From there a long discussion ensued about photography and art. At some point, I said that I felt that photography was largely an art of chance, while most other forms are ones driven by intentionality -- either in the outcome or the method (e.g. abstract expressionism). We discussed a handful of pictures where the outcome was hardly the objective but how some random element made the picture more special. Then he went off to be with his wife. And I came home to write my blog.

Two pretty mind-entralling conversations today -- understandable since it is the season of the Scorpio. Look out, stingers ahead!

Justice

Don't know why this topic struck me today. Probably the multiple references to justice over the past two week or so.

Justice is an elusive term -- lost to the one hearing it based on the unique perspective of the one using it. Sometimes it seems as difficult a concept as faith. And it is important to how we feel about the world...

No Justice, No Peace -- the great call of the oppressed, bastardized by so many over the years, with no respect for the many who fought and died for the idea of justice -- from Martin Luther King, Jr., to Zapata, to so many others...

Got this gift from an email I get every day last week: love is stronger than justice. The commentary was even better: "So if you feel that you have been 'unjusted' and are looking for 'justice', you may be looking for the wrong thing. What would happen if you sought love instead? And what would happen if you gave love instead of seeking it? This might require a bit of forgiveness. Yet if you start with yourself, if you begin by forgiving yourself for all the things you may have done that were not okay with another, you will find it much easier for forgive another for what was done that is not okay with you." Reminded me that love is hard work, and that loving yourself is as important as anything.

It was the kinda thing that got me refocused and straight in a couple ways.

Today was strengthened by a call from a dear friend who told me I was her mentor, and I can't tell you how that made me feel. That, a comment about collecting strays and a good meeting in Greensboro before heading home made the day good in a number of ways.

Sparks

Did I drive you away?

I know what you’ll say,

You say, “Oh, sing one we know,”

But I promise you this,

I’ll always look out for you,

That’s what I’ll do.

I say “oh,”

I say “oh.”

My heart is yours,

It’s you that I hold on to,

That’s what I do,

And I know I was wrong,

But I won’t let you down,

(Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will…)

I say “oh,”

I cry “oh.”

Yeah I saw sparks,

Yeah I saw sparks,

And I saw sparks,

Yeah I saw sparks,

Sing it out.

La, la, la, la, oh…

La, la, la, la, oh…

La, la, la, la, oh…

Coldplay, from Parachutes.

----------------

the bad decisions that leave a stain a guilt for days, weeks, months... that you feel in the first breathe of loneliness in the morning... the empty shower...the drive home at night...

and you just buck up.

Rollin'

Productive day, even on the road for most of it. A day where the meetings were so good, and my feeling coming out of them was even better. It makes what I do feel relevant in some stupid way.

Started the day with the kids, and my few minutes with Drew were, as always, magical -- his insights and his craving for the time sitting in the parking lot talking make ME feel special. Strange how that happens. I also started the second Stieg Larsson audiobook making the long roundtrip drive pretty tolerable. Very interesting story about him -- his name, his writing and his girlfriend finding the books on his laptop after he died. Kinda cool, and weird at the same time.

Today's picture is a part of my courthouse collection -- nice shot of McDowell as the sun was setting in the east.