Blue Bridge

Durham has totally changed the old foot bridge over the Durham Freeway/Expressway, East-West Expressway, NC147, I-40, or whatever that road is called that runs from the Triangle to downtown Durham. The old bridge was a piece of crap -- built to tie two parts of a neighborhood split by the road in the 1970's and had the artistic flair of a white piece of paper laying on top of a piece of gray cardboard. It was a long, green "I-Beam" that the city closed at least 15 years ago bc no one felt it was safe to travel through there...

The new bridge is amazing. The perfect example of how things ought to be, and sets a cool tone for entry into Durham from the east. Tonight's picture is of the new bridge, with a longer exposure because it was night, I was driving and was, of course, a little pissed that I didn't get it. I suppose I found out the "what you want" may turn into "damn, look what I got."

I'm a bridge-ophile -- I'm sure there's a better word than that one, but I do like admiring their grace, the style, how their role can define a space. Would any design "fit" in the space between San Fran and Marin County other than the Golden Gate Bridge? The way a soaring fly-way like the Sunshine Skyway (I like that Skyway name, btw) fit in the Tampa Bay. The raw ugliness of the George Washington Bridge in New York cuts across the sky as if to remind us that Robert Moses didn't care what it looked like as long it was built.

A good day mostly, with mostly local travel for kids and work, and a great opportunity to both meet with a personal trainer for the first time and go to Madison for my friend Tom's 50th birthday. While the day had strange elements, the hardest thing was driving through Gboro at 6 pm on a Friday -- something I hadn't done in a long time, and yet still felt both odd and bittersweet. But I passed through, made it north, and returned the same way with no incident.

And tonight I was reminded why the call to another can be its own form of grace. I finally called my dear friend, who is still suffering from the loss of a great love but just returned from Italy, to see how her trip had been and spent a few minutes encouraging her to get out and see some friends. It was a good few minutes of catching up, but it was grace in action for us both. From it, I was dubbed "St. Wendover." Still chuckling about that...

Off to Indy first thing in the morning. Supposedly there are cool things to be seen there. Who knows?

Moody Thursday

At points, my exhaustion prevented me from having the emotional strength to get through the smallest thing. At others, I smiled for the quiet moment I enjoyed in the car. Then I was angry at the idiotic paranoia of an old argument involving friends and business partners. And basked in the glow of the excited words coming from Mary Kathryn. Or throbbed and paused and now rest.

I fear that if I do not rest, I will be far worse than I already am.

But I did capture a little more beauty that life has to offer, tonight along Ninth Street, after helping MK buy a piece of jewelry from Vaguely Reminiscent. A moment of pride, and deep appreciation for the trust she places in me when it comes to buying clothes, shoes or a necklace. Another emotion, another memory, and another thing to be thankful for on this day.

Harvest Moon

The way the full moon reflected the sun's light tonight at the beginning of the fall season. It was wonderfully full -- the moon's face filled with amber, golden and red as it began to climb into the sky, preparing for its dance with Jupiter later in the evening.

My one meal today was a wonderful concoction of Stella, Bill, Jennifer and the Wednesday night crew at church. I love the fellowship that flows from those dinners, and while I feel very quiet often in there, I find such energy from the friends and food. Tonight it was cheese grits, pork loin and salad, and a lot of water. Came home though wishing I had not eaten because of how my stomach feels (and not from the food) and now I sit in my chair trying to get the energy to do the work that looms over me this evening.

And my friend scoots across the sky, to let its cycle begin again, and escort autumn into the air, across the leaves, and prepare the way for winter, and spring to anticipate...

Traveling Man

I thought this picture best captured my day... a little bridge of trees ahead to pass under, wonders ahead and behind, and the promise of friends, and food, and drink ahead. It turned out to be just that...

437 miles according to Google Maps -- a great wide circle from home to Hickory to Charlotte, to Fayetteville and back home. I left at 7:20 am and got home at 12:30 am. But the kind of day where certain things got me going and left me fulfilled, and others left me empty and wondering. In other words, it was just a day, like many before it, and like many to come. And sometimes, those days are the reminders to just enjoy.

The most depressing thing was that I finished my book (The Passage, by Justin Cronin) about the time I got to Hickory, so I was left without something to "read" for the remainder of the drive. I must now find something new to download and enjoy.

So I will start my day anew.

New Blog Layout

No pic today, but I wanted to thank Kelley Smith Belcher for her energy and creativity in putting together a new layout for the blog. I will eventually (once she's educumated me about it) update the links and all... She's a great writer and artist, trapped in the legal world. Great husband and family -- so I can't say enough good about her. Thanks Kel!

Birds of Flight

Coming home from church today, I was traveling down Aviation Parkway back toward the condo when I came across this egret (who often seems to be standing alone along the western portion of Lake Crabtree) and decided that today was the day to stop and take his picture. I pulled off the side of the road, took one picture and remembered the camera was still in manual mode from last night, and so I missed the first shot. It does annoy me so when I fail to check myself before shooting...

As I took a couple more, I noticed a plane coming into RDU and realized that the two aspects of this piece of the world that often struck me -- that egret and the planes coming into and going out of RDU -- and readjusted to capture both. It was the perfect capture of the battle between natural and modern aviation... and made me glad that I stopped.

Today was cleaning day -- Drew's once annual bedroom project to bring chaos and the thousand started projects and then dropped, deposited or disapparated into his room only to be discovered one day in the future as one worthy of rejoinder or wondering what he was thinking about when he started that one... and was beginning to fill his room. But tonight he is sleeping in his bed, with his clothes filling his drawers. There are no shards of Coke cans in the floor and an amazing dirth of paper clips or scotch tape on the carpet. It makes a daddy happy.

MK and I got some good time to ourselves today as well -- on the drives to and from youth group, and sitting and working on a school project or discussing the latest drama while Drew was delaying his bedroom work. It is amazing how their observations, their dispositions, and their absolute spirit makes me feel so at home whenever I get to partake in their wonderment. It does a mind, and a heart, and a body good. Much better than milk, if you ask me.

I did return to Centerfest to buy the Pilot Mountain photograph I liked and got everything hung on the walls of my stairwell. Being at the festival for just a few minutes today really has made me realize that I need to budget $100 a month toward printing and framing a couple photographs just to hang on the wall. I think that would really give me a better perspective on my art -- away from the pixels and the screen and into printed form where I could better understand its place against the works I enjoyed today and yesterday.

And I agree that a photomosaic project may be my next "thing" to plan for. I just have to think of how I will do it.

Centerfest, Soccer, Laser Tag and Birthday Party

Loved getting up this morning to go watch soccer. Something about the fall and seeing Mary Kathryn and her friends play the great game. While interacting with MJ was its normal trying experience, I enjoyed watching MK make a goal and Drew scavenging for goodies around the Riverside baseball field (he found two baseballs and about a dozen other items "of interest). Then she was off to the lake with the team, leaving Drew and I to our own devices.

Afterwards, we grabbed some lunch and went to Centerfest, Durham's arts festival, to enjoy the weather and to see what we might find inspiring. And we certainly did. While the jewelry did not strike me as it normally does, and the pottery was largely pedestrian, the other visual areas were wonderful. There were some great painters, particularly some strong abstract portraits with the kind of dimensionality that one rarely finds in these kinds of settings. But one artist really struck me.

This gentleman named Patrick Walsh does these very unique and alluring photomosaics that stopped us cold. As I looked at each one, I was drawn into the creative process and thinking of how they would have been "put together" and how he chose his subjects. Walking through the space, and finding other folks who struck me, I kept coming back to Mr. Walsh's art, and so I left with a piece that I was proud to bring home and hang on my wall.

While walking around, Drew began to get very tired, so he sat by a tree, and began to draw, and rest, and "recharge his batteries." When I came back to get him, he had created his own art out of bark. He also made his own glue out of berries and sap. It was something that was unexpected and intimidating -- a reminder of how great this boy's spirit and abilities are...

This evening, Drew and I did some laser tag -- we won -- and then to a friend's birthday party. It was a fun day. My favorite moment was Drew's humility in asking that we go play laser tag -- that he feared he was being selfish in asking for that time. When I assured him that I was looking forward to the time, and if it was something that was not fitting within our plans, our available time or even my own interest, I would have talked to him about it. But I was glad he asked, and that he didn't expect it -- he asked, and was sincerely appreciative of the time we could do that together.

A fun day, particularly with Drew, and I have tylenol in my body, and my eyes are heavy. It is a good feeling...

Notes

One of the things I like is the writing of a little note -- to thank someone for a meal or hosting a party, to express a thought, or just to express sympathy for the loss of a friend or family member. And I do like to find something nice to write those notes upon, be that cool new cards or paper that is made like paper bags from the grocery store. For me, the ability to just put down in words what or how I feel has been freeing -- in this forum, or in a more private or personal fashion.

To wake and get the kids to school was a fun start. I do enjoy the few minutes Drew and I get in the car after MK is off to school, making his bagel at Foster's and just chatting about all the things that are running through his mind. After a roundtrip to Greensboro for a meeting at UHC, and got the kids and dropped MK at Caroline's, Drew and I went to eat something and go see a movie. As we both sit here, each writing, watching a movie and preparing to sleep, I remember the joy of the words I write, the things I observe and how life moves like a river.

Creative frustration

One other note: I sat tonight and listened to Drew express his creative frustration... that the things he dreams up now are no longer as "cool" or different as the things he used to think up three years ago. "It's all very conventional," he said.

It was a bit sad watching him realize this -- the maturity of his dreaming...

I will keep reminding him that he is still a 40 year old mind stuck in a kid's body (his words, not mine), and the key to joy is never losing sight of either one.

Drained, but inspired

Tonight, as MK and I were heading to Harris Teeter (and Drew was at Taekwondo), the sun was setting at over the end of Horton Road. The weeping willow was framing and the sun shining up from the horizon and it seemed to be the right "paint job" to the week winding down.

I remain exhausted and fear that I am getting some congestion, and a bit of something. It all feels more like what happens to your body when you are so completely drained that you just need a few days of sleep.

The kids were so glad to see me -- their calls wanting to know when I'd get there, and those first few minutes with them, getting their stuff, rushing to tell me something -- made that connection time more natural. MK and I walked around the 'Teeter and she was telling stories a million miles a minute. It was funny to hear her interaction with her friends, their little jokes, and the frustrations of adults and classmates, the disappointments and how life gives her both adventures and perspective. I love that her sense of humor has gotten so dry... brings a little cheer to my heart.

Driving around the parking lot to pick up Drew made me feel a little nostalgic. It reminded me of the years of living on Madrid, and how simple life seemed so much in those days. Seemed was of course the key to that, but they were different days. Many yesterdays ago...

Fun in Dallas

We had a great dinner last night in Dallas with my friends from Keystone and hosted by the president of one of our vendors there at his home. It was a true Texas affair -- great Tex Mex food along with a couple fellas playing their guitars in classic Mariachi fashion. Despite the rain, we all had the kind of time that make business partners friends and leads to a long-term and profitable relationship.

Of course, for me, it was accompanied by the opportunity to take lots of pictures, many of them quite funny (like the one here) but I truly just enjoyed the time talking and listening, taking in the atmosphere of camaraderie.

Today was the third of three busy days and I got home late. But I felt very good about our meetings and hope that the rest of the week will be equally productive.

One interesting story from last night: as we returned to the hotel, a number of our folks were already there. Susan Barbee stopped us at the door and mentioned that "the guy from the UPS Whiteboard commercials" was in the lobby. Immediately my ears perked up. It was one of my favorite stories from the New Yorker, or the New York Times, or some other place where I read stuff like that, about this ad agency based in Richmond that has done some pretty remarkable work. So I did what I do: I glided over (I had enjoyed a few beers by then) and started chatting with the two guys. We had an interesting conversation -- they were in Dallas because they are pitching Pizza Hut (whose headquarters is immediately adjacent to the Marriott where we stayed) -- and then afterwards, the rest of us meandered over the bar where we were originally headed, to wind down/continue our evening.

It was fun. I am tired. But thankful for many good things in my life. There are things that I love, and others apparently do to. There are other things I cannot stand. But at the end of the day, I am both content and pleased with where my life is headed.

...and tomorrow, I get the kids! I have missed them so.

Will update the world later...

Running behind and already late.

Texas Sunrise

I don't know what it is about the sun here, but it is quite beautiful when it is rising. This gave me a great new day, one that I was able to really embrace to start my day today.

A number of good things happened -- it was a very productive day, and I was blessed by being able to share it with my co-workers here. It is funny how that environment reminds me of last year and how I still felt a little out of place in so many ways, and now I feel slightly less that way.

I do love good words, and my children's embracing of strong words to describe so much. I have listened to them both develop strong vocabularies and use them both accurately and with such strength. I feel blessed by that. "Adore" instead of "like" gives a richness of thought while "covet" seems to better express the quality of "want" in such a better way.

The little observations, and the way you express them, make life for me a better experience and memory to have going forward in my own life.

Piano in the Lobby

Sat in the bar with at the Sheraton here in Dallas tonight before going to dinner and a guest had decided to play the piano for fun. It wasn't fun.

I need a long post to get my thoughts out, but it is one that likely will not see posting. But the black and white, the notes echoing in the lobby, how Dallas fits into who and where I am today, and the swirls of emotion about today, tomorrow, yesterday and everything else -- they all add up to the need to purge some thoughts and that needs to be my work in the coming days, and be strong enough to figure it all out.

Aperture

When I walked out to start packing, the cool air inside was causing significant condensation on the windows, and obscuring the buildings outside and to the south of the Hilton. I liked the effect, so I pulled the camera out and started taking a few pictures.

But almost immediately noticed that the pictures did not reflect "what I saw," mainly because the camera's eye wasn't seeing it the same way my eyes were. So I had to think and then -- Aha! remembered why it was...

So I changed the aperture -- the width of the opening of the lens to get a greater "depth of field." One of the aspects of the camera that you learn is that aperture and shutter speed are two parts of the light triangle and the the higher the aperture, the slower the speed, but with it is a greater ability to see the full depth of the picture. Otherwise what you get is a blurry background that is pleasant in certain pictures, but not so much when the buildings behind give you a better idea of what the scene was at that moment.

This was what I saw, and what I felt, this morning. Thankfully I was able to capture it in the way I wanted.

Pity Party Over

Friday morning, feeling rushed and still tired, I woke to see the reflections of the cross, and a steeple, in the building across from my balcony. The sun was rising and the morning sky still tan and orange with shares of blue and yellow. It was a nice sight to wake up to -- keeping me in focus as the day began.

It was a long day -- five meetings and lots of driving between them, and ended with dinner at Vic's on the River with my friends and coworkers, David and Rene Rubnitz. It was a great dinner -- wonderfully creamy grits and shrimp preceded by a pork eggroll that was perfect in nearly every way. Downtown was hopping, with tons of tourists and people around, but I just felt suddenly empty and decided to go back to the hotel to sleep.

I posted my little note and moved into the night, watching some piece on 9-11 conspiracies and fell asleep before 10:00 pm. I needed the rest.

So I am sorry that I was having a pity party last night. It happens, ya know?

Roll Tide! Go Ducks! Go Dawgs!

Don't feel like posting...

something has me down, unable to focus and in need of rest. I may add later, but for now, I think sleep is more important. I have a picture. I have some thoughts, but I think I just want to lay down and find comfort in my bed. I hate sleeping alone.

Johnson Square

Had happy hour (it's stupid we don't allow happy hours in North Carolina, for the record) at First City Club in Savannah this evening with my co-workers. They were in a poker tournament and I watched for a while before heading out to do a bit of walking. Then walked a little bit and realized that I was tired. So I came home to the suite...

A day of many appointments, caught up emails (only to have it run back up), missed calls and tired eyes. I think I will sleep so I can try to have fun tomorrow evening in Savannah.

Foggy with a side of tired.

Woke up this morning in Morrisville at the condo and falling asleep in Savannah. Wouldn't be bad if there wasn't a trip to Johnson City, TN thrown in there for good measure. I am not as young as I used to be (duh!) but 10 hours on the road and four hours worth of meetings stuck in the middle of all that time on the road. And thankfully the meetings were productive.

As I was driving up Interstate 26 to Johnson City from Asheville this AM, the rain was falling, and the clouds were dashing in and out between the hills. It made for a pleasant picture of the transition we are making toward cooler days, winter's call and the diminishing light in our days. I do not like the twilight of the year, but know that it is necessary because the morning will come again in March, and I can survive the coming seasons.

New Chair

I decided a new months ago that sitting on the couch was killing my back when I was home working... so I decided that since one of my clients was a furniture company, I should shop there first.

Found this great leather chair -- arms, nice narrow seat, but it wouldn't fit in the car so momma and daddy picked it up and last night, Bob McLean carried it to Durham for me so I could - beep, beep, beep - drive it back to my condo - beep, beep, beep - in my car. Of course, while I was - beep, beep, beep - driving it over here, I had to leave the - beep, beep, beep - back of the car open a bit. But when I drove it that way - beep, beep, beep - the car felt it necessary to NEVER stop - beep, beep, mother-fuckin' beep - the entire 20 minute drive home.

When I got it home, I found I couldn't get it up the stairs by myself so I relied on the assistance of my own personal Hercules -- Drew. He helped me get it in by carrying the back while I was negotiating the bookcase, the random corners, and get it into the living room.

Tonight, after a long day of meetings, and deciding that I wasn't going to drive to Johnson City, I came home to work in my new chair -- this throne of work. The chair that I'll love to work in for years, and that someone will love to hate in the future, and bring to my next place, and the next, and the next until I settle for the rest of my life.

In short, I love my new chair.

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Found out tonight that I have been included in a list of blogs that the Durham Convention and Visitors Bureau maintains. A pretty cool thing to be among the 200 plus blogs listed. Thanks...